According to Cosmopolitan’s “The Scary New Butt Beauty Trend,” for $100 or more you can get “an acid applied to your freshly waxed anus and rubbed in.”
And apparently ladies, for almost no extra charge, you can get your you-know-what bleached as well. Doesn’t that sound delightful?
Women go through the already painful routine of waxing, tweezing, styling, manicures and pedicures, but I did not think that we had come to a point in society where we have to have our nether regions bleached in order to look sexy for a guy.
Every time I roll up my hair in curlers and peel off one of those painful pore-strips, I have to think to myself, “Why am I putting myself in so much pain just get a guy to notice me?” I mean, could you imagine getting your anus bleached? I don’t even think it’s safe to use that chemical when I’m cleaning, let alone using it on my back side.
Why in the world are women doing this to themselves? Do men really care if our buttholes are supposed to be white?
Every guy I’ve talked to doesn’t care if we have one stray eyebrow hair or if our pores are too big, so why are we throwing down major bucks and putting chemicals on our bodies to please them?
It’s frustrating to see completely beautiful women do these things to themselves and then make it seem like it’s normal. It’s like they’re saying all women should be getting their buttholes bleached while they’re getting their nails done at a salon. Oh, and right after, it’s okay to get a chemical peel on our faces. Because it’s all for a guy.
I’m not saying we shouldn’t try to look good for men. I’m still tweezing my eyebrows, applying mascara and coating my lips with candy-apple-red lipstick so a guy will notice my best facial features. I may even wear a shirt that screams out “Sex!” and my favorite pair of rear-enhancing skinny jeans.
But will I ever get my anus bleached? Let’s just say that my new mantra for beauty is “Bleaching is Bogus.”